What Actually Happens in Therapy: Debunking Myths
by Jonathan Osis, Clinical Psychologist, Astute Psychology
Many people initially approach therapy with some apprehension. They may have seen therapy portrayed through media and pop culture where it can be shown to be over-dramatised and inaccurate. It’s natural for people to approach their first session feeling unsure of what to expect, as can be the case when we approach any new situation. This article is written with the goal to dispel some common myths surrounding therapy and look at what the therapeutic process really involves. First, I will list some common myths regarding therapy and then detail a more realistic characterisation the therapeutic process.
Myth 1: “Therapists just give advice.”
In our everyday lives we may provide advice to others based on our own values and worldview. In therapy, the goal is instead to understand patterns of thinking, emotion and behaviour formed through life experience and determine how they’re either positively or negatively impacting functioning. We look to building insight and awareness and develop skills to manage with individual circumstances in collaboration rather than through giving ‘one-size fits all’ advice.
Myth 2: “You have to have something seriously wrong.”
People arrive to therapy for many different reasons. These can include anxiety, stress, life change, trauma, depression, substance use, relationship challenges, burnout or wanting to raise their self-awareness and understanding. All these reasons and more are valid reasons for initiating therapy given the focus is as much about personal growth as healing.
Myth 3: “You must talk about childhood the whole time.”
While drawing connection to the past can help us to understand current patterns and childhood focus may be a focus in therapy, this will only be discussed if it’s relevant to your individual goals. Modern psychological practice tends to focus primarily on the present and is tailored to your specific needs. Many clients seek specific strategies and techniques to manage with present stressors in their lives, and this is as valid a therapeutic focus as evaluating past focus.
In my own practice, one therapeutic approach I commonly use is Schema Therapy, which evaluates core beliefs formed through childhood experience and therefore has more of a past focused. Alternatively, I also utilize Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which is more focused towards present experience of thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Which therapeutic approach will be most appropriate is determined through individual client needs and goals.
Myth 4: “Therapists will analyse everything you say.”
Our roles as therapists are not finding hidden meaning in every word and gesture of our clients. Instead, we seek to understand your experience in the world and allow you to feel safe in doing so. Feeling comfortable in therapy can take time, especially if it is new to you and we wish to work with you towards your goals at a pace that is comfortable to you.
Myth 5: “Therapy is only emotional and heavy.”
While therapy can involve strong and challenging emotions, curiosity, humor, relief and catharisis are also commonly experienced. A wide range of emotions are allowed and encouraged in therapy, and even through experiencing the heavy and strong emotions, many clients find that by allowing themselves to work through this process then lighter feelings can result.